This article was originally published on BLAC Detroit.

While the dating scene isn’t easy for everyone, it is also much harder for introverts and shy people to navigate. The truth is that not all of us embrace the excitement of meeting new people for dates. Shy people and introverts would quite honestly rather stay at home and enjoy a book. 

However, humans are intrinsically built to long for human connection, and this means introverts and shy people aren’t any different. The only difference is- they’ve got to step out of their comfort zone and learn to navigate a space that isn’t exactly built for them. So then, does this mean that shy people and introverts are unlikely to find love or revel in romance? 

Photo by Eric Froehling on Unsplash

Of course not! Simply because the dating scene can be a nightmare doesn’t mean you can’t prepare adequately and enjoy it. Here’s what to do as an introvert or shy person that wants to enjoy dating and find success in it.

  • Play to Your Strengths

Here’s something many people don’t know or bother to acknowledge about introverts- we’re mysterious and intriguing. What a cool aspect of your personality! While other people are struggling to pique the curiosity of potential partners, this is something that comes naturally to you. 


People are naturally drawn to those they can’t figure out, and this desire to know you is likely to intrigue them. Embrace this part of you and be confident in the knowledge that people are noticing- and most likely can’t get enough of you.

  • Don’t be in a Rush

There’s a lot going on in the dating space, so you have to be focused on what you want. Once you announce that you’re looking for love, your friends will want to set you up on blind dates, sign you up to dating sites, and invite you to dating events. When you have all these things going, focusing on finding an ideal match becomes challenging. 

You’ll want to filter out all the noise and focus on one thing at a time so that you aren’t distracted. The best thing about being you is that you are self-aware and you know your needs. You want to avoid bigger groups and settle on more intimate settings like lounges, cafes, or restaurants to connect with other people.

  • Date a Few People at a Time

Ok, so you’ve probably heard your friends talking about how it’s essential to cast a wider net. News flash- it won’t work for you. You see, introverts prefer to get to know someone on a deeper level, and dating too many people at a time will not allow you to build meaningful relationships with potential partners.

  • Be Yourself

We know, you want to fit into the dating world. But, the truth is that you’re better off being yourself and showing off the unique person you are! You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not just to get ahead. Potential partners will see right through you and the façade you’re putting on. Being honest about who you are will help you find someone that likes you for who you are.

Ultimately, you have to realize that finding love and romance isn’t easy even for the extroverts. Letting someone get close to you will be the most uncomfortable thing you will ever do and you might end up second-guessing even the slightest decisions you make. 

When things get here, it’s time for you to self-evaluate and figure out what how you are holding yourself back by choosing to be secure in your comfort zone. After all, we only grow when we’re uncomfortable.

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